"Penis Enlargement, Reduce of Vagina" - handouts of Cape Town

Step off the bus or taxi and enter into the hustle and bustle of the Parade in Cape Town, and you will most likely be offered a good many handouts by dejected and weary looking hustlers. These offer the prospective client a variety of medical and magical help which usually includes such services as penis enlargement, vagina reduction, weight loss, lifting of curses, exorcism of tokoloshes, help for premature ejaculation, help finding a marriage partner, getting beyond bad luck in gambling, and many other fine offerings.

I began collecting these, and have finally gotten around to scanning them. They are presented here both for your entertainment and as a kind of archive lest they be lost to history. You can click on each image for a larger version.

Chief Kanoin (and his associates) offer a limited number of services compared with those below, but has a pretty aesthetically pleasing flyer. And Sexy Queen sounds like a fine product.

Dr Adams, on the other hand, offers a very large range of services. Among other things he can get rid of marital problems like "bad sex", misunderstandings, "HIV/AIDS symptoms" (yikes), "Penis not Erecting Strong," etc. He can also get rid of madness, swollen bodies, diarrhoea. Further, he offers promotions, salary increase, "Short Boys bring Money" (what the hell does that mean?) and much else.

Doctors Bul-Ham and Haisha have a rather eye-catching multi-coloured flyer. Among other things, they can also make you "Kick TIK habit, Drunkerdness and use of other Drugs."

Dr. Maria Aisha can bring back your virginity in one day, ladies! How? With "our powerful Mexico herb from Jamaica", that's how.

In addition to offering the usual range of services like marital help and attraction of clients, Dr. Kibo and Mama Fatuma will also clean your house.

On a more serious note, I have reservations as to whether someone should be able to advertise that they can cure AIDS and also offer "8. Unwanted pregnancy (30 min. Without pain)".


Prof. Moi's big draw is that he is from "Masai Land." And at R30 a consultation, damn cheap. Hmm... there is that "Short Boys" again. Can someone explain this reference?

Dr. Ali and Maama Jamira, on the other hand, charge a full R50 for their range of services. And they aren't even from Kenya. On the other hand, they do stop bad dreams.

Well, OK, Alvin's driving tuition is not really in the same vein as all the other flyers. But I thought I may as well offer him some free publicity. R100 ain't a bad price.